


'find a reason in the pain'

by cute_lil_fluff



Category: The Maze Runner (Movies), The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Heartfelt Conversations, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sad Newt, Sleepy Newt, The Glade, mentions of newt's accident, so many i love yous
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-07
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-05-31 19:57:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6485494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cute_lil_fluff/pseuds/cute_lil_fluff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Minho was certain that before this whole maze thing, he must have had different ideas of fun. Video games instead of running, TV instead of nights spent around the campfire, hanging out at the mall instead of hanging out in the middle of a giant field.</p><p>But things change, priorities change. Sometimes without meaning to. But it all works out in the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Minho was certain that before this whole maze thing, he must have had different ideas of fun. Video games instead of running, TV instead of nights spent around the campfire, hanging out at the mall instead of hanging out in the middle of a giant field. But right now, having Newt falling to pieces beneath him is absolutely Minho's favourite thing.

He's all pale skin, flushed red and shiny with sweat, but still glowing in the moonlight. His soft golden curls are splayed out around his head like a mane, looking slightly less glamorous than usual. But he'll always be the most beautiful boy that Minho has ever seen.

And Minho is absolutely and undoubtedly in love with him.

Looking down at his boy, Minho feels weightless and impossibly heavy all at the same time, holding himself up on his elbows. He takes a moment to just stare, completely enamoured by the gorgeous boy beneath him. Minho loses himself in his feelings for Newt for a minute, just watching him and letting time pass by.

After a moment, he lets his mouth pull into a grin.

Minho drops his head to slide his lips over the red love bites forming on the fragile skin of Newt's neck. Newt hums, tilting his head to the side, exposing more of his throat to Minho's wandering lips.

A delicate hand rises from the old patchwork blanket, the one that Newt has loved ever since he found it to keep warm during his first ever night in the Glade. Cold fingers land on Minho's shoulder, palm resting over his collarbone and stroking the skin softly.

Newt uses his grip as leverage to pull Minho down on top of him, bare chest meeting bare chest. Newt sighs as he gets that skin to skin contact that he loves and crave; perpetually warm copper-brown skin heating up his constantly freezing body on the forest floor.

This is forever Newt's favourite time of each and every day. When he and Minho steal away to the far corner of the Deadheads and lose themselves in each other for a couple of hours. And no one disturbs them with any pathetic problems for the second-in-command or keeper of the runners.

They just leave them be, knowing that they need each other to stop from going insane. Newt adores it. He adores Minho.

“You're incredible,” Minho whispers, breaking through the silence of the night time which surrounds them. His warm breath hits the skin below Newt's ear and sends tingles sprinting along his spine.

“I--”

“No, Newt. You're honestly the most incredible person that I have ever laid my eyes on. You're beautiful and smart and strong and brave and caring and I can't get enough of you. And you should know that. You should always know that.”

Minho nuzzles his face into Newt's skin, breathing in deeply and memorising all of the different elements of Newt's familiar scent; flowers and their bedsheets and sweat. He curls his arms around Newt's bare waist as the smaller boy begins to shiver in the crisp night air, squirming around to get closer to Minho.

Minho giggles as Newt whines and burrows in closer to his body, scrunching his arms in between their stomachs. Minho kisses Newt's temple with a smile on his lips, chuckling softly against Newt's skin.

“I love you, Min.” Newt's words are slow and sleepy, his voice a sweet lullaby in Minho's ears. He presses his hands to Minho's back, his fingers splaying across the boy's shoulder blades.

“I love you too. So much.”

Newt's lips are soft as he presses them to Newt's forehead after his boy speaks. He hovers there for a moment, until Minho slowly sits up. He rests back on his heels and looks down at Newt, a smile etched onto his face as the bare boy frowns and shivers against the cold air now pricking at his skin.

Minho reaches a hand down, pushing Newt's hair back from his face and smiles before grabbing both of their clothes. They get redressed quickly, hurrying to get out of the cold, pulling on T shirts and sweatpants without a word shared. When they're done, Minho kneels down and pulls Newt to sit across his lap, tucked into his chest.

Minho's heartbeat is a steady rhythm under Newt's cheek and the pair's breathing has finally slowed down to a normal pace once again. Minho traces a calloused hand, gentle and steady, along Newt's back.

Newt lets his fingers dance across the plane of Minho's chest which is covered by the boy's favourite soft, navy blue shirt. His eyes flutter shut every few seconds, but spring open again seconds later, like he can't bear to let this go just yet.

“Min?” Newt's voice is soft, like the quilted blanket beneath them and the grass beneath that. Minho hums in acknowledgement. “You're the best thing that's ever happened to me.” Minho lets out an airy chuckle and presses his lips to Newt's hair, rocking them side to side slowly.

“What do you mean, love?” Minho asks, moving one hand to trail up Newt's shoulder blades and thread into his hair, fingers stroking slowly.

Newt stays quiet for a bit, and if Minho hadn't memorised the difference between his conscious and unconscious breathing patterns a long time ago, maybe he would have thought Newt had fallen asleep.

“This place is like a living nightmare, but somehow I was allowed to have you and that makes up for anything that they could put me through.” Minho buries his face in Newt's scalp and sighs, smiling like a loon. He feels Newt press himself closer to his body, the arm on his waist tightening as the smaller boy desperately holds onto the runner.

Newt lets out a squeaky yawn, squeezing his eyes shut and turning his face into Minho's chest. “We ought to get back to the Homestead. Before you fall asleep on me.”

“I'm gonna fall asleep on you anyway,” Newt replies before sighing and flopping onto his back, hands running over his face. “Carry me.” He demands, stretching his arms up into the air like a child.

“Don't get pushy now, dearest.” Minho counters, but pulling Newt to his feet and into his arms anyway, pausing to wrap him up in his old blanket in between. He kisses Newt's neck briefly and softly before turning with Newt and beginning to head back to the Homestead as Newt curls into his chest.

Newt watches the quiet Glade over Minho's shoulder with tired eyes. Various boys are still milling around in the field, finishing things up before heading up to bed. “You cold?” Minho asks, tightening his hold on his sleepy boy. Newt nods softly and turns his face into Minho's neck. “It's okay, we'll be inside soon.”

Minho carries Newt back to the Homestead and sets it down on the bed that Alby had insisted he claim after his accident. He cups Newt's jaw and kisses his boy softly before falling down beside him.

“I love you Newt.” He whispers, careful to be quiet as to not disturb the blonde out of his sleepy state. He feels Newt tuck himself into his chest, securing his hands around Minho's back.

“Do you think we're gonna get out of here? One day?” Newt asks, his voice barely audible, just a whisper muffled by Minho's shoulder.

Minho nods against Newt's head, making sure that Newt can feel his movement. “We will, love. One day.” He lays them both down and holds Newt until they both fall asleep, wrapped up together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please check out [my tumblr](min-newt.tumblr.com) and reblog [this post](find-a-reason-in-the-pain-chapter-1)
> 
> Feedback and kudos are gratefully received
> 
> Please let me know if you spot any mistakes


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He convinces himself that Newt will be absolutely fine.
> 
> Of course he will.
> 
> He has to be.

It's too hot.

Minho's still fast asleep next to him when Newt wakes up the next morning, so he knows it must be early. _Really early_. He carefully untangles his legs from their knot of a blanket and climbs off of their bed. He stands on unsteady feet, running his hands over his face as he gathers his bearings.

He sighs, then quickly holds his breath when he hears Minho stir behind him, obviously woken by Newt no longer being in his arms.

Newt can't help but smile at the thought.

“Newt,” Minho asks. His voice is heavy with sleep and raspy in a way that makes Newt fall in love with him all over again. “What are you doing up?”

“Too hot,” Newt replies, turning around slowly and walking back over to Minho's side.

Minho's silky black hair is pressed flat to his forehead, covering one eye and making Newt grin fondly without meaning to. He stands close to the bed and reaches a hand up to stroke the hair back from his boyfriend's face, Minho closing his eyes and relaxing under his touch, sinking back into the pillows.

“ _Too hot?_ But you're _always_ cold.” Minho says, blinking up at Newt. When Newt doesn't say anything in response, he sits up and stretches a hand out towards the other boy. He's aiming to press his palm against Newt's forehead, but before he gets the chance, Newt steps away. Just out of reach.

“I'm fine Min, just go back to sleep. You need to be up soon.” Minho frowns and takes one of Newt's hands in his, smoothing a thumb over the boy's bony knuckles.

“Don't lie to me Newt. What's going on? Please tell me if you're not okay?”

“I'm fine Minho, don't worry about me. I'm just going to get a drink, and you better be fast asleep again when I get back.” Newt leans down to kiss Minho briefly before turning and leaving the Homestead. Minho, trusting his boyfriend, lets him go and lies back down on the mattress.

There's no use in pestering him anyway, Newt never wants anyone to worry about him. He'd much rather be helping the other boys than having someone taking care of him. Even when he needed it. It was a quality that contributed to Newt being such a good leader, but it wasn't all that good for him or his health.

And it was _awful_ for Minho who had a constant need to be keeping his boy safe.

He'll just have to make Alby promise to keep an eye on him whilst he's out running the Maze.

 

“Wakey wakey love birds. Rise and shine and all that klunk.” Alby's voice wakes Minho and Newt, who both blink up at him with tired eyes from their comfy nest of a bed.

“Oh Alby, you've always been such a shuckin' charmer.” Warm air hits the back of Newt's neck as Minho talks, and he chuckles softly to himself at all of the sass.

“Well, you would know. Wouldn't you shank? Now get your asses up, you're running late. Maze time slinthead.”

“Yeah, _maze time slinthead_ ,” Newt repeats, sitting up beside Minho and elbowing him lightly in the shoulder. Minho glares up at him, but he's glad to see that Newt's looking a bit better than before, and appears to have gotten some more sleep. Newt laughs as he swings his legs over the side of their bed, accepting Alby's hand in getting to his feet.

Newt stumbles forward slightly, his knees going weak beneath him as he stands up. Alby's quick to catch his shoulders, steadying him, and Minho sits up fast enough to catch him by the waist. “Woah, Newt. You alright?” Alby asks, ducking his head to look Newt in the eyes.

Minho frowns and stands up behind his boy, hooking his chin over the shorter boy's shoulder and pressing his nose to the underside of his jaw.

“Yeah. I'm okay.” Newt replies, sounding slightly breathless, shaking his head to dispel his dizziness. Alby sighs but takes Newt's word for it and sends Minho to get ready. After Newt leaves to find Frypan, Minho mentions to Alby about what had happened earlier in the morning.

And, _of course_ , Alby agrees wholeheartedly to keep and extra eye on Newt for the day, to make sure that Minho's boy was doing good.

Newt finds Frypan and heads to the kitchens with him to start getting the runners' lunches ready. Assembling sandwiches and bagging up apples and water is the pair's morning task. Whilst they're finishing the packs up, Minho comes sauntering into the kitchens to check on Newt for one last time before he leaves for the day.

“You're sure that you're okay?” Minho asks as he drapes himself over Newt's back, arms wrapping around his small waist. Newt tenses and Minho sighs as he runs his fingers over Newt's too-prominent ribs, dropping his forehead down against Newt's shoulder. “I can stay here if you need me to, if you want me to. I promise that it's no problem.”

“No, you can't. I'm fine, go run.” Newt replies, shoving Minho's lunch bag into his chest and giving him a reassuring smile.

“I love you,” Minho whispers, leaning forward to connect his lips with Newt's. The both pointedly ignore the fake gagging sounds coming from Frypan, and some of the other runners, from across the room. They all know that everyone really thinks that they're adorable.

“I love you too.” Another kiss. “Now go!”

Minho hugs him one last time before following the other runners out of the kitchens and towards his door, laughing as some of the other boys clap him on the back as they leave.

“And stay safe!” Newt calls as Minho heads towards the Maze. Minho turns and waves briefly, blowing Newt a kiss, before speeding up and running towards his door.

“Gotta get started on breakfast, Blondie. Quit with them lovey-eyes.” Frypan says, smirking at him from the over the fridge door.

“Slim it, Siggy.”

 

What must be about an hour later, breakfast is over and everyone in the Glade begins dispersing, each to do their separate jobs. “I'll see you later Sig, don't miss me too much.” Newt jokes, bidding Frypan goodbye.

“What? I don't get a kiss?” Frypan asks, tilting his head as he stands by the door, wiping his hands on a kitchen towel. Newt laughs, but stands up on his tippy toes to press his lips to Frypan's cheek anyway, making an obnoxious kissing sound to make Frypan laugh.

“See you later Siggy.” Newt's still grinning as he makes his way over to the gardens, his second most favourite place in the Glade.

“Hey Zart, is there anything I can do to help?” He asks as he approaches the keeper.

Zart looks up from his weeding at Newt's voice, smiling at the blonde boy before he falters. “Zart?” Newt repeats, concerned about what could be wrong.

“Are you okay, Newt? You look a little pale, like, a lot pale.” Zart says getting up to come and stand in front of Newt, his brows furrowed, worried.

Newt frowns in response. “I'm fine, Zart. I promise.” Newt sounds amused, so Zart just brushes it aside and hands Newt some cable ties to go tie up the grape vines, one of the boys favourite jobs in the gardens.

Zart knows how much he loves getting lost between the supports that had been made for the grapes to grow on, hiding out of sight from the rest of the Glade. Where it's just him and nature and none of his shucked up life can bother him.

There was a reason why Newt had started working with Zart in the gardens after his incident, other than just because he couldn't run any more. It was like a stress relief. Zart had figured it out.

The first day he was back on his feet after the accident, Newt had come to help Zart, as a track-hoe had been promoted to be a runner in his place. Zart had seen how relaxed Newt had seemed, for once, whilst working there, like all of the weights had been lifted off of his shoulders.

 

By the time that Minho returns to the Glade and has finished his maps, it's already evening and the sky is beginning to darken. Minho heads to the kitchens to find Newt, but is worried when he's told that Newt wasn't well.

Frypan tells the runner that Alby had sent Newt away from helping with dinner, saying that he'd been swaying on his feet and looked way too out of it to be near hot food. Frypan sends Minho towards the Homestead, guessing that Newt was probably having a nap and that he 'looked like he damn well needed one' too.

Minho follows the cook's advice and rushes to the Homestead, despite his protesting muscles, in search for his boy. He finds Newt curled up on his side on their bed, looking tiny and vulnerable and miserable. His arms are wrapped tight around his middle, bony fingers pressing into his ribs on either side.

“Newt?” Minho asks, approaching the shivering boy slowly and kneeling next to the bed so that he can see the boy's face. He gently reaches over and pries Newt's hands from his sides, slightly concerned about how tight he was holding.

He holds one of Newt's hands in his, and brings the other to cradle Newt's jaw in his palm. He frowns, then unlaces their fingers to press the back of his, now free, hand to Newt's forehead again. This time, though, he's not pushed away. He seems fairly cool, so Minho lets out a sigh of relief, resting his chin on the edge of the mattress.

“What's up honey?” Minho asks, stroking a thumb along the line of his sleepy boy's jaw.

“F-feel shaky, and tired and- I don't know. I-I just--” He sighs and closes his eyes, turning his face to hide in the fabric beneath him as tears begin to pool beneath his eyelids. “Feel weird.”

“Hey, no, it's okay. Don't cry love, Newt, please.” Minho leans forward to kiss Newt's cheek and forehead and nose as he wipes the boy's tears away, when Newt opens his eyes. “What's wrong?” Minho asks, concerned about the misery swirling in his boy's rich brown eyes.

“I don't know. 'M sorry.” Newt replies, his voice soft but with a note of pain behind his words.

“Oi, don't apologise, alright. You're ill, this isn't your fault. Let me take care of you, and don't push me away. I love you Newt.”

“I love you too.” Minho smiles sadly, then climbs up onto the bed and lets Newt shift to lie on top of him. His head comes to rest in the curve of Minho's neck, wisps of hair tickling his skin. Minho rubs circles into Newt's back and whispers to him until he falls asleep, and hopes that all Newt has is just a little cold. He convinces himself that Newt will be absolutely fine.

Of course he will.

He has to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked this, please reblog [it](http://min-newt.tumblr.com/post/145406327315/find-a-reason-in-the-pain-chapter-2) on [my tumblr](min-newt.tumblr.com).
> 
> Feedback is gratefully received :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newt wakes up feeling a whole lot worse than the day before.

Newt wakes up feeling a whole lot worse than the day before. He scrunches up his face, pressing his face into Minho's warm shoulder as a wave of dizziness floods through head. His throat feels like it's getting tighter, as though someone had their hands wrapped around his neck, squeezing slowly.

Newt clumsily scrambles over Minho and tumbles off of the bed, surprised when he actually managed to land on his feet. And if he weren't feeling so crappy, he perhaps would have been quite proud of himself.

He walks down the cold hallway and leaves the Homestead as quickly as he can without falling down or making too much noise. The air is cool, and the sky is still, a dark blanket hovering above the Glade as Newt sinks his bare toes into the dewy grass of morning time.

He's shivering, but the uncomfortable feeling in his stomach keeps him from turning around and jumping straight back into the warmth of Minho's arms. He takes a deep breath and looks up at the empty sky, willing the feeling to go away and leave him feeling normal again.

Eventually though, Newt realises that just getting a bit of fresh air isn't going to prevent yesterday's lunch from making a reappearance. After figuring this out, he slinks away into the Deadheads and falls to his knees, spilling his stomach onto the grass.

He feels like he's choking again, his heart hammering against his ribcage in a way that ought to be painful. But he can't feel it, he can only hear his heartbeat in his head, dizzying him even further.

A shudder runs up his spine, through his bones and leaves him trembling against the cold, stone wall next to him, that separates him from the horrors of the Maze before dawn. He lets himself slump against it and takes a deep breath, closing his eyes and resting his burning forehead against the concrete.

Two years in this place and he had never gotten sick. Not once. Not many of the Gladers had, unless Frypan's cooking had been particularly bad that day or they'd drank too much of Gally's concoction. Or if they'd been stung, of course.

He feels disgusting.

He feels disgusting as he curls tighter in on himself , wrapping his arms around his stomach and sinking down further against the wall. He tries to make himself as small as possible, hiding in the midst of this massive hell hole in a way that has seemed to have become an unhealthy habit recently.

The taste of bile still remains in his mouth like the after taste of a bad medicine, and his throat still burns from the acid. He coughs and coughs to try and dispel the sensation, but it doesn't help. It just makes him feel weaker, an ache building steadily behind his eyes.

Newt feels so worn down and so bloody vulnerable and shaken up that he just starts _crying_.

And he doesn't stop. He feels like he couldn't even if he tried. He's just given up.

Newt's sobs are ugly and miserable and quiet. He rubs his fists against his red cheeks in an attempt to wipe away his embarrassment along with his tears.

Newt can't believe how pathetic he's being. He's bawling to himself on the muddy floor of the Deadheads. Alone. All just because he was sick. Coming to this realisation only makes him feel worse.

It's not long at all until Minho drops to the floor beside him. “Newt?” He asks, stroking a hand over the back of Newt's neck, calloused fingers toying at the edge of Newt's hairline.

“You okay?” Minho asks, his hand sliding into Newt's hair, soothing the pain in Newt's head without even knowing it. His thumb hovers in the space right behind Newt's ear, stroking the skin softly, like it's second nature.

Minho's always had this comforting effect on Newt, ever since he came up out of the box. He was shaking and cowering like an idiot and after just a few words from Minho, he was calming down. Minho is safety to Newt, he always makes Newt feel like nothing can hurt him when he's in the shelter of Minho's arms.

Newt just whimpers and shakes his head in response to Minho's question. Minho reacts instantly, hooking his arms around Newt's shaking body and hauling him into his lap. He slowly rocks them side to side as he buries his face into Newt's neck.

He kisses the skin there softly, pressing Newt closer into his chest and breathing in the familiar scent of his hair. He traces a strong hand firmly of Newt's spine, anchoring him. They sit there for a while, together, until Minho's back starts to lock up and Newt's breathing is steadier than before.

“Hey, it's okay. You're okay, I've got you.” Minho whispers, tucking his face into Newt's shoulder. “I'm not going anywhere.” He swiftly gets to his feet and begins carrying the shivering boy back towards the Homestead.

Newt doesn't move his head from where it's resting against Minho's collarbone. His hands are fisted into the front of Minho's soft, blue shirt as Minho whispers hushed words into his ear.

Alby spots them in a matter of moments of them emerging from the Deadheads, and he jogs hurriedly over to the couple. His expression is one of anguish and worry for his second-in-command, cowered in his boy's arms. Alby runs a hand over Newt's soft curls when Newt coughs once more, sounding like he has sandpaper plastering the walls of his throat.

“What's going on? What's happened?” Alby asks, his voice is that usually controlled and collected tone that Alby uses in stressful situations, in order to keep everyone calm. It's one of the reasons as to why he's such a great leader.

“He's ill,” Minho says. “I'm going to stay back today. I'm not leaving him.” Alby nods and sends them on their way with a sad smile and a thankful pat to Minho's back.

Minho slowly carries Newt back to the Homestead, careful to not jostle the ill boy too much on the way. When they get back into their room, he set Newt down on the edge of their bed as gently as he can. Minho leans over him and places his hands on Newt's cheeks, thumbs stroking away the drying tears from under Newt's eyes.

“What's up buttercup?” Minho asks, causing Newt to giggle and show him that smile that he loves so dearly. He can't help but smile as well, pressing a kiss to the blonde boy's cheek.

“Slinthead.” Newt replies, his voice gentle though still slightly raspy, a hand gripping at Minho's wrist, squeezing gently. Minho laughs and presses his lips to Newt's forehead, hovering for a moment as they breathe each other in.

“You feeling a bit better?” Minho asks, thumbs still caressing Newt's cheekbones.

“Yeah. A lot better, actually.” Newt replies, reaching up to thread his gentle fingers into Minho's silky, ink black hair. Looking into Minho's eyes, all Newt sees is his home with the boy he loves. He sees how much they care for each other, how much they love each other.

Minho must see it too because he can't help but duck down to tuck his face into Newt's neck, pressing soft kisses to the skin there and breathing in deep.

“You wanna try and get some more sleep?” Minho asks, but Newt just shakes his head.

“I'll never get to sleep again now.” Minho sighs and wraps his arms around Newt, enclosing the smaller boy in his arms, intending to keep him there forever. He never want to let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya, just warning you that I might not be able to post anything for a while as I'm right in the middle of exams. HOWEVER, this week is my busiest week so afterwards I might be able to treat you with new chapters, I do have a couple written out.
> 
> Anyway, as always, if you enjoyed, please reblog [it](http://min-newt.tumblr.com/post/145472578540/find-a-reason-in-the-pain-chapter-3) on [my tumblr](min-newt.tumblr.com).
> 
> Great to see so many people enjoying this, especially as I abandoned it for months. You guys got me back into this story. So, thank you <3


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